JERUSALEM AND BETHLEHEM (Paul O’Brien)

 

Here’s a tale of two donkeys that lived in our street

The funniest couple that ever you’ll meet

One was a filly called Jerusalem

The other a boy, Ah! The bold Bethlehem

They lived in a garden down Ravensdale way

Feeding on carrots and sleeping in hay

Delighting the children when they would pass

All wanting to look at the donkey and ass

 

TOORALIE-OORALIE-OORALIE-OE

SHE LOVED HIM DEARLY THE WAY DONKEYS DO

TOORALIE-OORALIE-OORALIE-AYE

THAT FINE PAIR OF ASSES, DOWN RAVENSDALE WAY

 

Now she was right handsome and came from good stock

Her father pulled barges along Castleknock

When they got married she walked proud and tall

And they started a business down in East Wall

But he was a chancer and hauler by trade

He gambled away all the carrots they made

And when he got home from the pub Saturday

He’d force the poor filly to roll in the hay

 

But it was on a Christmas he went a bit far

He left her alone to be tugging the car

He went off drinking along by the docks

And she swore be de hokey she’d flatten his rocks

It was long after dark when he finally got home

Weak from the gargle he staggered around

She waited to ambush him down by the shed

And smacked him a wallop with a plank on the head

 

He fell in a heap and she dragged him away

And covered him up with a pile of old hay

They found him next morning all covered in snow

And all said “Exposure’s a fierce way to go”

His master was shocked by the loss of his steed

And his wife put it down to ignorance and greed

To avoid a repeat to her husband she said

“Sure here in the parlor we’ll make her a bed”

 

The sitting room table was moved up the stairs

And they shifted the sideboard and two of the chairs

They gave her old blankets to wear as a coat

For company the bought her a white Billy-goat

Now whoever said that crime doesn’t pay?

She’s snug in the parlor since that very day

So remember when drinking with mates in the bar

That even with donkeys you can go too far!