FORBIDDEN FRUIT  (Paul O’Brien)

 

Now Adam in the garden was a solitary man,

One day he turned around and said, “Lord, tell me what’s the plan,

I see the birds have partners and the squirrels have them too,

They seem to have a lot of fun, now what am I to do?”

He used to mind geraniums and keep them free from weeds,

Until he got the notion, to be sewing other seeds.

The Big Boss said he’d make a deal for his wishes to come true,

And wrote a list of things that were forbidden for to do.

 

DON’T YOU BUY A BODHRÄN, AND NEVER PLAY THE SPOONS

LISTEN!……BEFORE YOU PLAY ALONG WITH ANY TUNES

WASH YOUR HANDS IF YOU’VE BEEN PLAYING WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S FLUTE

AND NEVER EAT A GRANNY SMITH, ‘COS THAT’S FORBIDDEN FRUIT.

 

When he awoke, He told him so, he surely would be blessed

With the finest looking partner without a hairy chest,

He promised him that she’d be there to honour and obey,

She’d even do the washing up and help him bailing hay.

Excited by these dreamy thoughts he went to try and sleep,

His mind was doin’ ninety from counting’ all the sheep,

Early in morning in the cold light of the day

He heard a sweet voice asking him, if I wanted tae.

 

There she was as large as life, standing in her pelt,

And soon she’d figured out the kind of love that Adam felt.

And even though that she was sweet, so gentle and so kind,

Underneath that silky skin there lurked an evil mind.

She went roaming ‘round the garden because Adam fell asleep,

Where she ran into the serpent, which up her leg did creep,

He showed to her the list of things she wasn’t meant to do,

“It’s only because I fancy ye I’m showing this to you”

 

For oranges and pears she didn’t give a hoot,

The only thing that she desired was God’s forbidden fruit.

She worked on Adam’s weaknesses to do what she had planned,

And soon she had the eejit eating out of her hand.

There were flowers and shrubs and animals and happiness did reign

But he had to go and eat that bloody apple just the same,

He didn’t even like the taste; he only took one bite,

I wonder what his fig leaf will be hanging on tonight.