BROWN ENVELOPES (Paul O’Brien)

 

Two figures looked out o’er the fairway

Says the one to the other “Young man!

Put the ball on the tee, like I showed you

And hit it as hard as you can”

“Its here that you’ll meet all the big wheels

Come on and I’ll show you the way

If you want to mix business with pleasure

It’s surely the best game to play”

 

There’s plenty of fun on the fairway

And all kinds of folk heed the call

But watch your back in the bunkers

And don’t take your eye off the ball

And don’t take your eye off the ball

 

“It’s my swing I can’t get together

I’ve tried every trick in the book

You keep telling me to keep my head down

But I just can’t help sneaking a look”

“It’s only your nerves” said the old man

“You’ll get used to it after a while

Just work on your network and mingle

And learn how to loose with a smile”

 

“Speak only in clichés and jargon

Riddles and terms so obscure

And never say “backhand” or “dash”

‘Cos you never can really be sure

Keep your eyes peeled for bird-watchers

With their cameras and lenses so long

They’ve a habit of poking their noses

In places they just don’t belong”

 

“Try not to get stuck in a bunker

Unless your partners stuck too

You’ll be out of sight and of danger

When he’s slipping the vellum to you”

The apprentice was pulling the caddy

While the master showed him the ropes

And off they went into the sunset

Pockets bulging with brown envelopes